Projectilia



Known to some as Busta-Grimes, others as Grimebag Darrell and in some areas of the world as Grimey Life. One evening while on a road trip with Grimes, Justin, Juan and I witnessed Mr. Grimes simultaneously break the sound and light speed barriers. He did this at a friends house party. There was a band playing cover music and we were drinking heavily in a room full of people we didn't know. Needless to say Grimes accomplished this feat in the medium of projectile vomit.
Anyhow, Justin Do It and myself arranged the questions and here's how Grimes responded.

How often do you bathe?
Showers are like oil changes, once every 3 months or 3,000 miles.



Who is Gil? And can you tell me a good one about him? Maybe an instance involving a lack of responsibility.
Gil is the owner of the bike shop that I work at... And he's a mook. The best intance of a lack of responsibilty I'd say would have to be the time the shop didn't open on a summer day because I had my arm in a sling and was pretty useless on my own and he was far to drunk to work. These kind of things happen often.

Try to describe yourself in two words; they have to rhyme.
YO-YO!



If there was one thing that really drove you to the point of shitting yourself what would that be? 
If I saw michael jackson leading an infant zombie regime, riding on the backs of carnivorous dinosaurs... I'd shit my pants for sure.

Lets say it's your birthday today and you could have any sort of pet that you may desire, what would you get? 
I would try to find the cutest little rodent-type pet with the cutest eyes and little button nose... But it would actually survive off eating the flesh (leaving the guts and intestines) of humans... And it would have acid for blood and a love for frank sinatra, to the point where if you tried to change the song he'd bite off your face... Yeah.



On the table in front of you there's cheddarwursts, hamburger buns, rip-its, sunflower seeds, shampoo, blue moon ice cream, sprinkled donuts, thermos of coffee and a bottle of whiskey. How do you prepare the meal for your significant other? 
First you use the ice cream as a spread on the buns (both sides of course), sprinkle sunflower seeds on one piece and the sprinkles from the donut on the other. Then you marinade the cheddarwursts in 3 cans of rip-it (setting one off to the side) for about 30mins. After that you'll wanna take the cheddarwursts and blend them with the shampoo and what's left of the ice cream until they have a firm texture that is easily spreadable on the bun. Lastly spread the cheddarwursts, close the sandwich, dunk it in some coffee and nibble away... And don't forget that rip-it you set aside. After eating this delectable dish, shotgun that energy drink in order to get your body working fast enough to digest and you'll be all smiles in no time.