Mister Swiftszcyesnik's schedule for fourth graders 9th hour gym class

Today's Lesson Plan:
- Face melting gravel trails are not suitable landing pads for over-excited drunken bike riders
- Talk of the weather should really only enter conversation when the weather itself actually becomes unbearable
- J-walking is simply an act of wrecklessness
- J-crabwalking on the other hand is an act of creativity
- Passing gas (farting) is still among the most humorous activities one can participate in

Today's Group Activities:
- Acting tough
- Drinkin' tea with grannies
- Find the roundest ball in the Crossfire game set

Today's Guest Speakers:
- Superman's low flying ex personal trainer will speak about what it's like to put coke in coffee
- Trapeze artist will speak of past love affairs while on tour with the circus
- DMX will bark

Today's Closing Ceremonies:
- A long winded speech on the current economic state of the world's super powers aimed specifically to bore the shit and piss out of fourth grade students
- Juice box and gushers buffet for students who brought $5 cash
- Autograph signing with Ben Austin