Born out of everything that is nothing

Here's one borrowed from another:
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two; one to screw the light bulb in and another to hold the penis... I mean ladder.

So, it's near the end of the summer season, trees are soon to be in full fall bloom, many people have already begun to complain about the weather slightly less than usual, the nights are getting longer, you're drinking a lot more whiskey than your wife or husband would prefer, you're cursing a lot more (mostly due to the increase of whiskey consumption) than those around you have patience for, the temperature outside is at or around what many people consider comfortable and most importantly hotdogs are in full bloom!

Which leads me to todays recipe: hotdog ice cream sandwich smoothie turnover casserole
This recipe is great for abortion showers and midnight binge eatings.
Step 1: Blend 10 or more hotdogs with 4 ice cream sandwiches adding ketchup and mustard to achieve desired consistency.
Step 2: Add 8 cups of flour to smoothie and knead until dough is firm and flaky.
Step 3: Turnover.
Step 4: Casserole.
Step 5: Gorge.

On to the next topic; regrets.
They're essential to every healthy persons mental diet.
Doctors agree that regrets promote better liver functions and an increase in eyebrow volume - "they're basically the food, shelter and water of our emotional livelihoods."
But, are we getting enough? Trick question, there is no specific amount that can be considered enough for any particular person. In other words, consume as many regrets as you can chew. 
If you're new to regrets doctors suggest you try some easy initiations such as going to prom, inquiring where one could score a 'fry stick' or a 'toe tag' from an officer of the law or simply answer your front door when a Jehovah's witness knocks.
So do your mind (and body) a solid and exhibit remorse and sorrow towards everything.
Because the sooner you begin to regret the sooner you begin to live.

Hope this helps you give in to any vices that may ail you.